Once upon a time, in the realm of food writing, there was a column titled "Turkey, Revisited." Just as Philip Larkin's "Toads, Revisited" left its mark, this exploration of turkey was about to unfold. Years ago, in these very columns, the author expressed a deep dislike for the bird. Messages from readers still echoed this sentiment from time to time. Riffing on Jeffrey Steingarten's essay, where a legendary turkey recipe boasted 32 ingredients, the author detailed their adventures with a Kelly Bronze turkey. From the baroque trumpets that accompanied its entry to the spa treatments for its skin and the fine cashmere tea towel that covered it before carving, it was a tale of extravagance. Yet, in the end, the author concluded that all their efforts had been in vain, resulting in about 3kg of just "OK" turkey.

Why the Return to Turkey?

The author's aversion to turkey has only grown stronger over the years. It's not that they've seen the light; rather, it's a matter of nature. Just as they've made up their minds about certain people, they've firmly decided about turkey. Additionally, with the passage of time, they've become more environmentally conscious. Turkey, with its potential for waste, no matter how many leftover korma recipes one reads, is a constant source of concern. But there's more to it. Turkey has been financially weaponized, with certain circles only accepting it if it's ordered with a gold Amex in late August from a butcher driving a hybrid Range Rover. The very word "premium" represents the longstanding divide between food production and consumption in the country. Wouldn't it be better if all birds were of moderate to good quality rather than most being cheaply reared and only a privileged few enjoying the poultry equivalent of Eton?

The Most Expensive Turkey

Recently, the author read about "Britain's most expensive turkey" in a newspaper. This fowl could be purchased from a butcher in Holland Park, where the big stuccoed houses resembled iced Christmas cakes. A hefty one would set customers back more than £360, justified by a diet of nettles, wild blackberries, and fresh oats, along with a hearty outdoor life. Such talk was highly contagious. At the author's preferred supermarket, the prices were high and the patter seductive. Even if one's head knew there might be no difference, the heart couldn't resist the thought of adding this dry-plucked turkey to the virtual basket. It was an irresistible temptation.

Alternatives to Turkey

Good food is often more expensive than bad food, but there's no reason it should be only for the rich. The author revisits their argument from a decade ago. Turkey, even with a luxurious life of listening to Michael Bublé sing carols and nibbling on lychees, is distinctly underwhelming. It's not even half as nice as chicken, duck, or pheasant. Why not choose one of these instead? One can still have all the trimmings, and potatoes, parsnips, and red cabbage are not easily marked up in price. Fortnum & Mason sells lovely marzipan vegetables, but they might not be the best place to find an actual carrot.

The Key to Culinary Happiness

The author believes that the key to culinary happiness on Christmas Day lies in good and copious gravy and bread sauce. Keeping an eye on the roasties is crucial to ensure they reach optimum crunchiness. One definitely doesn't want to end up like Larkin, with disappointing tubers that "unwreathed themselves, like something at a seance." By focusing on these aspects, one can create a truly memorable Christmas feast.

In the early hours of Maine, dairy farmer Fred Stone embarks on a frigid journey through the snow to milk his cows, adhering to the age-old principle of "cows first, people second." Stone, who has named each of his cows and knows them intimately, has faced a heart-wrenching crisis. His milk is contaminated with PFAS, "forever chemicals" linked to cancer and serious health issues. This has led to the euthanization of 80% of his cows and a debt of $1.5 million as he tried to save his farm.

The Battle Against Forever Chemicals on American Farms

Fred Stone's Dairy Farm Struggle

It's 4 a.m. in Maine, and Fred Stone continues his family's dairy farming tradition. But now, his life is turned upside down by the discovery of PFAS in his milk. The USDA's consideration of exterminating his cows was a blow, and he had to make the difficult decision to euthanize many of them. Despite installing a water filtration system, the contamination kept returning. Fred's story is a tragic one, highlighting the devastating impact of forever chemicals on American farmers.

He now has to face the daunting task of telling his father and grandfather what happened to the dairy farm they entrusted him with. This weighs heavily on his mind and keeps him awake at night.

Adam Nordell and Johanna Davis' Organic Farm Crisis

About 120 miles north, Adam Nordell and Johanna Davis had a dream of building a sustainable organic farm. They named it "Songbird Organic Farm" and envisioned a life of growing produce and raising a family. But when news of PFAS contamination spread, their world came crashing down.

Voluntarily testing their land and water, they discovered high levels of PFAS. Their blood levels also tested higher than those of chemical manufacturer employees. Faced with this crisis, they had to shut down their operations and recall their products.

The Origins and Spread of Forever Chemicals

Forever chemicals, or per- and polyfluoroalkyl substances, were created during WWII and have since become ubiquitous. They are found in various products, from carpet and couches to non-stick cookware. The process of spreading biosolids, or "sludge," on prime American cropland has led to the contamination of farmland and the food chain.

Epidemiologist Patrick MacRoy explains how PFAS enters the food chain through crops and animals. At no point does the EPA require sludge to be tested for PFAS before being spread on farmland, leading to a serious problem.

The Paper Trail and Chemical Companies' Knowledge

NewsNation's investigation reveals a "shell game" played by chemical companies. Documents show that they knew about the harm of PFAS chemicals as early as the 1950s and 1960s but kept the information secret. Court filings show that 3M and DuPont were aware of the risks but continued to produce and use these chemicals.

It wasn't until decades later that the full extent of the problem was revealed. In 2023, a multi-billion dollar federal settlement was reached over PFAS contamination in our nation's tap water.

The Role of the EPA

The EPA has been criticized for its slow response to the PFAS problem. Epidemiologist Patrick MacRoy calls for the EPA to require testing for PFAS before putting sludge on farmland. Radhika Fox, then-assistant administrator for water at EPA, said the agency is taking action now but still allows sludging to continue without testing requirements.

In April 2024, the Biden-Harris administration issued the first-ever national drinking water standard to protect 100 million people from PFAS pollution.

A Celebration at Misty Brook Farm

After 11 months of contamination, Brendan and Katia Holmes at Misty Brook Farm are finally able to sell milk again. They took immediate action when they discovered PFAS in their milk and have been working hard to ensure the safety of their products.

They borrowed money to buy uncontaminated cows and have been praying that no contamination comes back. Their story is one of resilience in the face of a difficult challenge.

Update on Farmers Surviving PFAS Contamination

Brendan and Katia Holmes are still selling milk at Misty Brook Farms, but they remain vigilant. Adam Nordell and Johanna Davis sold their farm to the Maine Farmland Trust for research purposes. Fred and Laura Stone received new test results showing that their cows and farmland are contaminated, and they are facing a significant debt.

Maine has made significant progress in addressing PFAS contamination, becoming the first state to ban sludging and the sale of PFAS-containing products. However, 48 states still continue to sludge.